Three years and twenty-six days ago, my life changed forever.
I remember it all so vividly, as any mother does. A light blue makeshift curtain hid the lower half of my body where the doctors were working. My skin pressed against the straps of the operating table as my limbs continued to shake uncontrollably, not from my excitement, but from the side effects of the medicine coursing through my spine. Britton stood next to my head reassuring me while the nurses scrambled around following the doctor’s instructions. Then it happened. A full-throated, irritated cry pierced through the air. It was as though I was a tightly strung cord on a violin, and once I heard his voice for the first time, my entire being reverberated sending a ringing through my body. I was stunned. I didn’t quite understand what happened to me at the time, but it was simply that I heard my son’s cry and it struck a cord within the very fabric of my soul. It was the oddest, almost terrifying sensation, one that altered me for in that moment I became a mother.
From then on there has been this connection, this relationship with my son. In the dark hours of the night, I would awaken to the same sensation, my body ringing like a symbol being clanged upon, a few seconds later Micah would cry. He would be sick or in need of my attention, but it was as if something in me already knew that he needed me.
God has taught me so much through being a mother. Through this experience, I am reminded of Nicodemus’s reaction to Jesus in John Chapter 3. Jesus said to Nicodemus that you must be born again. Confused, Nicodemus tried to clarify by asking how a grown man could go back into his mother’s womb. Christ wasn’t talking about a literal rebirth of the body, but rather a rebirth of the soul. After we believe in Christ, commit our lives to Him, and He comes into our lives, we are forever connected. There is a rebirth within us as our soul becomes clean by the blood, through the grace and mercy of God. From then on we are forever changing into the person God desires us to be. We are a new creation.
When my son was born, my life obviously changed dramatically. I continue to endure sleepless nights, temper-tantrums, and many tests on patience. I quickly realized that mothers actually have to learn to be a mother. I continually learn how to raise my child. Then there is the joy and the love. I can’t help but love my son.
Similarly, when Christ came into my life, I became a new person. That doesn’t mean that I stopped sinning or that my struggles in life were over. It does mean, however, that my sin has been forgiven and I recognize that and try to live my life to please Christ and let Him change my heart even more everyday. Though we struggle in this world, we should always be able to go back to the beginning of our walk with Christ when we were just a newborn baby and take comfort in knowing that God is helping us grow to maturity.