Have you ever had a relationship fall apart in a big way only to be restored again? I’m talking about the kind of “falling-out” that results in years of separation from and perhaps hostility toward each other? What was it like when you were able to amend the relationship? Was there a huge wait lifted off your shoulders or did it feel more like you were getting “past” something. Did you feel like something was finally behind you or did you look forward to future? Perhaps you wondered “why didn’t I do that sooner.”

Whatever the case might be, few of us have experienced this kind of thing on the level that Jacob and Esau had. If you’ve had difficult relationships in the past, perhaps you’ve learned some of the same things I have – for example, that the problem is magnified when it’s family, and that was certainly the case with these two brothers. All the typical sibling rivalries are certainly compounded by the jealousy that inevitably comes when the parents so obviously favor one child over the other.

Of course there’s the fact that dispute was also about money. How many families and friends have been driven apart by a dispute over finances? We tend to just each other’s character by how we spend our money and lending money to family or friends is always a recipe for disaster. Is it any wonder that such a sharp wedge was driven between Jacob and Esau when Jacob basically stole Esau’s entire inheritance?

How about the fact that in spite of the shortcomings of his character, Jacob went on to prosper? We hate to see the people that wronged us end up so happy don’t we? Wouldn’t we rather they live out their days in sorrow for what they have done to us?

If you can’t relate on some level to the disagreement between Jacob and Esau then you should count yourself fortunate. I don’t believe, however, that many of us could claim to have escaped this particular tragedy. In fact, it’s all too prevalent in families and in churches. After all, a church is a family and familiarity breeds contempt whether last names are shared or not. We are surrounded by broken relationships and past regrets. They haunt our memories and rob our joy. We are reminded of them by Satan on a daily basis. They cause us stress and can literally make it difficult to breathe.

I can’t imagine the relief, joy and peace that Jacob must have felt as his brother Esau came running toward him and wrapped his arms around his neck. For the believer, this moment can be extra sweet as we believe that while God has been working on us through a torn relationship, he has also had his hand on the other person and has been leading them toward reconciliation as well.

In the book of Revelation, Jesus, the lamb, says “Behold I am making all things new” (Revelation 21:5). Actually what is really conveyed there is that he is making all things new again. In other words, he is fixing what is broken. It is an acknowledgment that he has the power to restore things to the way they should be because he’s the one who made them in the first place.

Only God has this power. That is why after this amazing turn of events, Jacob builds and altar and calls it El Elohe Israel, which means “The Mighty God of Israel”. Wouldn’t you like to do the same? Wouldn’t you like to celebrate God’s power in putting right what was wrong? If so, start with this – forgive those who have wronged you, ask forgiveness from those you have wronged and let God do the rest.

God designed you to be unique. He also designed you to live in community with others who are unique in their own right. The goal is not for us to be, act or think the same; the goal is that we can simply bow down and worship the same God.

Among the adjectives we have used to describe Jacob, we can now add two more to the list.

First, he finally achieved ultimate humility. It is no small thing that the same man who hatched various schemes to achieve wealth only to lose it all and have to fight for it now attaches that success to God and not his own planning. As Jacob says,

I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps.

– Genesis 32:10

For what it’s worth, Jacob finally matured and is now practically an example of what it means to follow God. However, his humility does not define him completely. God makes us all unique. We each have differing skills, strengths and personality. God designed us and we must assume that his purpose in doing so was to use our individuality for his glory.

So it is amidst this truth that we find another adjective to describe Jacob…scrappy. Jacob is a fighter. He doesn’t even know how to spell the word ‘quit’ let alone have any personal acquaintance with its nature. He served 7 years in the house of his father in law so he could marry Rachel, and when Laban cheated on it, he served another 7. He will not quit if he feels passionately about something and he was certainly passionate about Rachel. When I say that Jacob won’t quit, I’m not saying that he merely gets up after each hit. He actually gets up and has a plan in place that he immediately executes each time.

It’s true that Jacob sometimes receives direct word from God about what he should do. It’s also true that many (if not most) times we should wait on God to reveal a plan to us. However there are some times, as was the case with Peter, where God’s call to faith requires us to simply get out of the boat and start walking on the water. Do you understand the metaphor of walking on water? Have you ever tried to actually do it? It’s somewhat unstable isn’t it? At best, we would be completely unsure of our footing if we were ever asked by Jesus to walk on water. In those moments the only thing that we know is where Jesus is. Our eyes have to be fixed on him, because if we were to look at the path that we were on, we’d freak out. The sight of him is the only way that any of it could possibly make sense.

Jacob only knows that God has made a covenant with him. He prays and asks God to honor that covenant. In a sense, Jacob is not asking, but rather confirming with God that because of that covenant he will continue walking forward even though the path in front of him (concerning Esau) seems sure to end in death. You see, he could have gone somewhere else and settled down. He could have avoided his brother forever. But Jacob knew that he must inhabit the land of his forefathers, because that’s what God told him to do.

I like to think that the wrestling match at the end of the chapter is more about God reminding Jacob of his strength rather than testing his resolve. I don’t think that God actually needed that fight to understand Jacob’s capacity. Rather, perhaps during a night when Jacob was unsure of himself, God reminded Jacob that he still had a lot of fight left in him. It worked too, as Jacob, who only a day earlier was humbly asking God to simply honor a covenant he already made, was now asking boldly asking God to bless him. The humility was still there, as Jacob acknowledges that his life was spared and not that he won the fight (v. 30). But there is strength as well. Jacob has been restored and reminded of who he truly is. The guy who never gives up. It’s part of Jacob’s design that God will continue to use for his purposes.

We can take a lot from this story and it will reach each of us on different levels because we’re all made different. We need not be afraid of our personality as God has a plan for that. God is also made strong in areas that we are weak. We shouldn’t focus on what we lack, but rather focus on this truth…whatever God’s purpose is for our lives, God designed us specifically for it.

I feel like I have narrative whiplash when reading this chapter. In spite of the many reasons to question Jacob’s character, the fact remains that he is God’s chosen one and I certainly expect for the unfolding story to feature God directing him in his efforts to overcome any of his adversaries. Stories make a lot more sense when there’s a clear “good guy” and a clear “bad guy”. We can then get behind the hero, identify with both his virtues and vices and cheer him on in spite of his shortcomings. In the absence of truly good “behavior”, it can be tough to know who we are supposed to cheer for in the last few chapters of Genesis and I suppose the easiest way to identify them is to simply pay attention to which one God is speaking directly to. Which one is being led by God.

Well, “Houston we have a problem”, because there seem to be 2 guys in a pretty important fight and neither seems to be selling me on why I should pull for them. Sure, Jacob seems to have been shafted by Laban lately, but Jacob’s done his share of “shafting” before. Both have family and property in the balance. And most confusing of all, God is speaking directly to both of them!

These are the kinds of stories that frustrate me…that is of course, until I meditate on it and see that this is my story. More appropriately, this is our story. Both men seem to have some valid points. Neither is perfect and their mistakes have caused each other to stop trusting the other. There is no coming to terms as neither will concede to the other. So how do they get past it? Forgiveness. After everything they’ve been through and done to each other,  Jacob and Laban realize that too much is at stake. They make a covenant and deal with it. There is some recognition on both parts, as well as plenty of affirmation to go around. They both recognize that no one is perfect, but they both serve the same God who seems to be leading them toward some kind of reconciliation.

We resemble this story much more than we know. We like to pretend that we live in a world of black and white. Perhaps this is appropriate some of the time. Certainly truth is black and white. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Every single person in the world deserves freedom. These are virtuous things and should be stated as absolutes. However, we have to be able to mature in our relationships with other people to the point where we can recognize that when it comes to conflict with each other (especially in the church) there are very few (if any) absolutes. We are never completely innocent, but are quick to say we are completely right. Anyone who has actually listened to a couple of friends tell both sides of the issue can understand that most of our division is a lot more nuanced than we’d like to let on.

The world is not black and white. Mostly, it is simply filled with people and people tend to not get along. They tend to make much of little when it comes to having something against someone else. This is especially true of the church and we tend to divide over the silliest things. This is troubling and awful, and quite simply breaks the heart of God.

Did you know that we find Jesus wept more than once in the Bible? He wept at a funeral for Lazarus (John 11:35). He wept for the city of Jerusalem when he saw it before his triumphal entry (Luke 19:41). There was another night in which the Savior’s heart was very heavy. It was his last night with his disciples. He had a lot of things on his mind, I’m sure. There was so much he had yet to tell them, but there was so little time. During his last meal with them, he looked toward heaven and prayed. Everything that was troubling him and everything he was feeling was poured out to the Father. He made mention of a few things in that prayer, but among them was a cry for unity…

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”

– John 17:20-23

He could have spent the time teaching them how to organize the church, but no, he trusted us to figure that out. He could have explained in exact detail what would happen during the end times, but I’m sure he felt that would all work out in the end. No, he used his time wisely and prayed for the thing that we would need help with the most. He prayed for us to get along. He prayed for us to love each other. He prayed for this, because in his mind, the world’s reception of the gospel hinged upon it.

As I read the story of it now 2,000 years later, I am convicted. I am troubled because I wonder how much we are hindering the mission of the gospel by fighting amongst ourselves. I have to admit I thought that our country’s morality was going down the tubes because of the evilness of our culture. I have to wonder now if we are the ones responsible. I thought our nation was doomed because of unbelief. Now, I see that their unbelief is due at least in part (perhaps a very large part) to the church’s behavior. Not individual clean living, but rather communal behavior. We simply do not do this whole unity thing very well.

“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians: who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

– Brennan Manning

It’s an often-used quote that I feel is really applicable to this subject. I wonder if the reverse can be true? Can the greatest revival and response to the gospel be caused by a church full of imperfect people who love each other perfectly? If we dedicated ourselves to unity, would we see God’s spirit poured out on the world in such a way that we’d give Pentecost a run for its money? What I wouldn’t give to see that day in my time. It starts with me. It starts with you. God make us one.

I would suppose the easier thing to write about in this chapter would be that of Rachel and Leah making the same mistake that their grandmother, Sarai (later called Sarah) made. They both at times battled seasons where they were unable to conceive and bear children. I know firsthand from friends and family how troubling this can be for woman. Even in today’s age of smaller families and more work outside the home for women, a woman finds herself incomplete if she is unable to have her own children.

The theme of course that runs generationally in these women’s lives is that it can be awfully hard to trust God when we want something so badly. We feel we need to try to do everything we can, to have a plan, to not give up, but to keep working at it. The problem with that of course, is that if God has different plans for us then we are almost sure to miss out on them. For example, what if God wanted us to fill our home with other children that have none of their own? What if he wanted us to sacrifice the idea of our own flesh and blood for someone else who has no family at all?

If the stories of the patriarchs have one central theme, it would have to be faith.

That brings me to Jacob, and this very odd, some would even say weird, almost hippy-style breeding of his flock and how he became a man of faith.

By now I’m sure you’ve picked up on the fact that Jacob is a bit of a heel. Of course he is. That’s what his name suggests. He is a bit of a scheister, a con-artist even, and seems to have no moral conscience when it comes to stealing from others. Sure, his father and grandfather had their moments and certainly no one is perfect. However, Jacob seems to have a major character flaw here and doesn’t seem like one who can be trusted.

I personally feel that way about Jacob and when reading about his life, I can’t help but wish that we had a more reputable role-model in him. However, out of submission to God’s Word, I have forced myself to reflect a bit more on the facts of his life, and I know that I can’t overlook this one redeeming quality: he stayed in the home of his father-in-law for an awfully long time and I’m not sure that didn’t have any other choice. He wasn’t there under threat, and he had certainly served past his “contractual” obligation by now. He seems to exhibit a similar quality to his grandfather, Abraham. Remember when Lot and Abraham separated? He gave Lot the first choice of where he would settle and Abraham took whatever was left over. He trusted in God’s providence and provision. Jacob, by the same token does something similar here when Lot insists that he stay longer. He could have said no, so without looking over his faults let’s give credit where credit is due. Jacob respected his father-in-law.

Of course he feels that it’s time to start increasing his own territory so that he can leave an inheritance for his children’s children. What follows is a bit of mystery that we are simply left to speculate about. He tells Laban he will stay if he can have all of the speckled and striped animals in Laban’s flock. He even agrees to watch Laban’s flock and vows to keep only the offspring of the speckly-striped troupe that are his. Laban agrees and gives Jacob the first few animals of his very own flock. Jacob then takes branches from poplar, almond and plane trees and peels strips of bark off of them in a striped pattern. He set these branches near the watering troughs whenever the stronger of his flock were in heat. As a result, they gave birth to offspring that was strong and marked with spots and stripes. His flock multiplied greatly because of this.

Some have suggested that Jacob was a master breeder and there was a scientific reason for what happened. I personally think that has the possibility of robbing us of the true lesson we can take from Jacob’s life. I believe that Jacob’s rather bizarre tactics were spirit-led. I believe that in spite of Jacob’s circumstances, God leads Jacob and gives him special instruction. When Jacob listens, God rewards his obedience by blessing him financially.

I would never want to suggest that we shouldn’t be decent moral people. We are instructed in God’s Word to treat others better than ourselves, and Jacob is a total failure on this front many times. However, I can’t help but ponder this reality: God seems to look more favorably on obedience than simple moral behavior. Now I know what you may be thinking, “isn’t moral behavior obedient as well?” Yes of course. Moral behavior comes from obeying the instruction for living found in God’s Word. We are told how to behave and a heart fully surrendered will exhibit certain fruit in his or her life. There is a different kind of obedience found here though…that of being obedient to something unseen.

Every great hero of faith was given the opportunity to trust God when it didn’t seem like a sensible choice. Noah was challenged to build a gigantic boat to save creation from a world-wide flood. Abraham was challenged to offer his own son as a sacrifice to God. Later, Moses would stand up to an entire nation. Daniel would be challenged to disobey the king’s command not to worship God. David fought the giant. The disciples left their jobs and their families. Paul turned his back on the Pharisees. In all of these stories, following God seemed destined for hardship, and yet these mighty faith warriors were all rewarded for stepping out when the path forward was unclear. Worse, it actually seemed clear that they were stepping off of a cliff only to fall to their end.

Have you ever felt challenged to really step out in faith? Not just to live a life worthy of your calling, but rather to follow a particular calling? How did you respond? If I could be real for just a moment, let me confess that I’ve had this happen to me in the last couple of years and while I started out well, I flamed out and shrunk back to what was comfortable as soon as the going got tough. I must confess, I’d really like a do-over.

Luckily for me, I serve a God of second-chances. My prayer today is that if I am given a chance again to follow Jesus that I will fear being out of his will more than the unknown. I want an adventure – the kind that takes place on the road less traveled walking hand in hand with my Savior.

God has a way of using the meek and mild to accomplish his purposes. This is a theme that exists throughout the scriptures and many of the most important moments in God’s unfolding story of man are accomplished by those who are meek in spirit.

John the Baptist was a sort of messenger who came on the scene to “prepare the way” for Christ. He preached to crowds that they should “Repent! The kingdom of heaven is at hand!” He started to gather a following and probably had every reason to be somewhat puffed up. After all, he was the leader of this somewhat organic movement. Before “Occupy Wall Street” there was “Occupy the Holy Land” and John was it’s leader for a time. Whatever following that continued to pick up steam behind Jesus certainly got its start with John. So great was his influence that Herod had him killed. Yet, John wore this banner lightly, and when Jesus fame was brought to him he simply stated that “he must become greater and greater and I must become less and less. In fact, his message to the people was this…

After me comes he who is mightier than I, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. – Mark 1:7

There was no doubt in John’s mind who the real star was, and when that light began to shine, he quietly faded to allow its full brilliance be on display. John was certainly the epitome of humility and God used him mightily.

During a time when the Jews were in great danger, Esther and her cousin Mordecai were given placement in the Persian king’s palace. They had influence and certainly had the king’s ear. When the king’s right-hand man Haman showed a genuine dislike for Mordecai, he devised a plan to get rid of all the Jews and basically tricked the king into signing it into law. You would think they would have immediately gone to the king to put a stop to it. However, we assume that through God’s providence they bit their tongues until just the right time. When they did approach the king, it was with respect and not demanding. As a result, not only was Haman hanged and the Jews saved, but Mordecai was given the highest office in the land next to the king, and at the height of the Persian empire, which was in control of the land where the Jews lived, God had placed two of his most humble people right beside the king so as to ensure the survival of the Jewish nation.

Joseph also, was one who had a quiet manner about him. He was slow to speak and quick to listen. He was betrayed by his brothers, framed by a woman and spent time imprisoned. Yet he never turned his back on God and God raised him up to do a mighty work. Like Mordecai, he rose from that humility to a position as the king’s right-hand man and led the Jewish nation before it was a nation.

Interestingly enough, Mordecai was from the tribe of Benjamin. Benjamin, of course, was Joseph’s younger brother. He was known for his humility as well, being the youngest of 12 brothers. In fact, both Joseph and Benjamin learned humility from their mother. Their mother, was Rachel, the chosen wife of Jacob.

Rachel was not the eldest daughter. We see her first come on the scene as a shepherdess. Why was a woman tending to Laban’s flock? Laban had sons, but perhaps they were not old enough yet. Leah was the eldest, but she couldn’t do it on account of her vision problems. Rachel took it upon herself as her duty. In many ways she stepped up when Leah could not.

However, when Jacob falls in love with her and asks for her hand, her father tricks Jacob into first marrying Leah. No doubt Rachel would have known about the deception as it’s hard to keep those kinds of marriage celebrations secret in such a small town. Yet, she does not object. She accepts her place as the younger sister, even though she’s been taking on the responsibilities of the firstborn. Rachel’s humility seems almost foolish doesn’t it? We read that story and practically beg her to stand up for herself. However, her humility is used mightily by God as well.

I’m a huge Lord of the Rings fan. At it’s heart, the story is about how even the most insignificant person can change the world. Delving deeper, we find that sometimes the people who make the biggest difference have no idea at the time. They are simply living their lives guided by their moral values. In the case of Bilbo Baggins, when ultimately faced with the chance to kill Gollum, the creature who tried to kill him earlier, he looked on Gollum with pity, and that pity stayed his hand. That’s important when considering the providential undertones in the book. If Gollum hadn’t lived, then the final scene in the book would not have happened and the enemy wouldn’t have been defeated. This is why Gandalf is prompted to say…

“The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.” – Gandalf the Grey

The bottom line is this: if things didn’t happen the way that they did, then perhaps Joseph wouldn’t have had 10 older brothers. There would then be no one to be jealous of his favor in Jacob’s eye. There would be no selling of him as a slave and no coming to Egypt. These are necessary events, not just for the life of Joseph but for the entire nation. After all, it is Joseph who makes the wise plans to prepare for the years of famine that were to come. Had it not been for him, the nation would have starved to death, and this includes Jacob himself. It was largely Rachel’s humility that set these things in motion, and once again God’s providence is on display in all its glory. He takes the mistakes of some to bring about the events necessary for his chosen people to accomplish his purposes here on earth.

Solomon was given the opportunity to ask for anything he desired and he chose wisdom. It made sense as he was the leader of the nation. For me, at this time, I choose humility. I pray that I can have the kind of humility that God has used for thousands of years to do his greatest work, so that through me he might be glorified.

There is a very interesting bit of business mentioned here about how God wants his people to live with their eyes fixed upon his promise. Isaac, after following his wife’s advice, decides to bless Jacob and send him on his way. Again, I do not believe it was God honoring for Jacob to deceive his father, but as we’ve said all along God uses our failures to bring about his purposes in our lives. Here is Isaac’s blessing to Jacob…

“May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples. May he give you and your descendants the blessing given to Abraham, so that you may take possession of the land where you now reside as a foreigner, the land God gave to Abraham.”
– Genesis 28:3-4

Did you catch that? His hope for Jacob’s future is that he would come to take possession of the land as a foreigner. You see, Abraham didn’t grow up in the land. He moved their and took possession, as a gift from God. God, through providence and provision, gave the land to him. Isaac again settled in the land as a foreigner. However, Jacob grew up there. In that sense, he would be the heir to it. He would receive it through his birthright.

The problem is that the promised land would become the symbol for the ultimate riches that God will deliver to all his sons and daughters. The promised land, was indeed received through “promise” and not property rights. Jacob would become one of the 3 partriarchs most often mentioned when referring to the God who would make good on his promise. The “God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob” had promised and delivered the land to both Abraham and Isaac, but if Jacob was to be the standard-bearer for the God who fulfills his promises, he too needed to have his own experience of this.

God uses this time in Jacob’s life in a mighty way, and we can learn a lot about how we ought to live from it. True, we can learn that God delivers on his promises and in fact wants us to live a life where we actually experience what it means to live by faith. For Jacob, God has him abandon the land that would be rightfully his so that he will recognize God’s provision when he reclaims the land. This experience will grow Jacob’s faith immeasurably.

However, there’s a second component to Jacob’s exile that is more fully understand in its New Testament application: that of living in the land as a foreigner. Hebrews summarizes the entire generational story in a few short sentences…

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
– Hebrews 11:8-10

God promised the land to Abraham and his seed. However, they recognized that for a time, many generations in fact, they would prosper but not truly possess the land. They were in a period of waiting and relying on God, constantly looking forward and having faith that he would deliver them. During that time they lived in tents or tabernacles which is really to say that they lived in temporary shelters, awaiting a time when their permanent residency would be fulfilled.

This is how we are to live today. We are to be constantly recognizing that our current place in this world is temporary. In fact our bodies, like tents, are temporary. Paul actually refers to our bodies as “tents” and expresses the same sentiment of temporary living…

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.
– 2 Corinthians 5:1

We look forward to a day when God will deliver us and clothe us in perfection. We will inherit the true spiritual home that was promised to the descendants of Abraham. Until that day, we are strangers living in a foreign land, and we must live as though we don’t belong to it. Our challenge is to not conform to the pattern of this world, but live lives worthy of the calling. Peter expressed it this way…

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
– 1 Peter 2:11-12

Living “called out” lives, different from the world around us, glorifies God. It signals to both the world and to each other (in the church) that another kingdom exists, the kingdom of heaven. The kingdom of heaven is at hand, and the proof of that is found in the foreigners, the sojourners who live in this world, but are not of this world.

It gets easier to sin the more you do it.

Let me clarify in case you wonder what I mean by ‘easier’. I mean that there is less conviction or guilt with each occurrence and therefore we find it it ‘easier’ to continue in our behavior.

Perhaps the most tangible example I can give is that of lying. Actually, we tend to not think of the sort of lying that I’m talking about as ‘lying’ per se. Perhaps we would prefer the term ‘fibbing’. A moment where perhaps we don’t tell the whole truth. I call them snowball lies myself. Snowball lies start out with something small. I say ‘small’ because they usually feel either inconsequential or even more appropriate than telling the full truth.

For example, perhaps your wife has had a rough day when she comes home. The last thing you want to do is is show her the unexpected bill that came in the mail that day. After all, the bill will be there tomorrow and will have different meaning for her after a good night’s sleep. Seems harmless right? Okay, so what happens if she asks if you and the family can go out for dinner that night instead of cooking, and you know your budget is tight enough that the bill changes the answer to that question? What do you do then?

I would suggest that the minute your wife comes home and you think to tell her about the bill and don’t for the reason already given, you have sold out. You’ve sold out to putting one value over another. You’ve convinced yourself that because you love your wife and want to make her happy, there are times when it is appropriate to hide things from her. Make no mistake, if you know about it and she doesn’t, you’re hiding it from her. You have decided that sometimes happiness is more important than honesty in a marriage.

Okay so I know that last bit sounds harsh. Of course you’re not trying to intentionally deceive your wife. On the contrary, you feel you are caring for her the best way that you know how and I guess that’s the point that I’m trying to make: Snowball lies will never appear like real lies and will even resonate as being the most ‘moral’ option at times. This is why they have the potential to become like a snowball rolling down the hill, picking up size and speed over time.

Rebekah had this problem. She believed Jacob to be the chosen one. Let’s go ahead and give her that one for a moment. Let’s say for the sake of argument that Jacob was the one whom God wanted to receive Isaac’s blessing. She knew this and also knew that Isaac couldn’t help but love Esau more. Isaac was, in her mind, blinded from seeing what God wanted because of his partiality toward Esau. So what does she do? She ‘helps’ him make the right decision.

In her mind, this is justified. Not only is Isaac not able to see his error, but as his wife, it is actually her responsibility to correct him. So there she is – convinced that action must be taken. It’s important enough that it needs to be done by any means necessary, so she convinces Jacob to trick Isaac into giving him the blessing instead. Jacob has some objections at first, but Rebekah is convicted and ready to take responsibility if it goes wrong…

But Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, “Behold, my brother Esau is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man. Perhaps my father will feel me, and I shall seem to be mocking him and bring a curse upon myself and not a blessing.” His mother said to him, “Let your curse be on me, my son; only obey my voice… – Genesis 27:11-13

Of course, this is pure nonsense. How can she take responsibility? Everyone involved is old enough to know that we’re all responsible for our own actions. When Esau finds out, it causes such a family uproar that it is Jacob, not Rebekah, who has to flee at once and live somewhere else. Meanwhile, the snowball is still growing, and Rebekah has to explain why Isaac has left. She blames it on the selection of women among whom they live. She points out the wisdom of Isaac living somewhere else. She probably isn’t even thinking of this as a cover-up at this point. She is actually probably convinced now that it truly is the best thing for Jacob. “Perhaps” she thinks to herself, “Perhaps this whole thing went wrong because God wanted Jacob to leave and this was the way he chose to orchestrate its happening.”

You see, in the end snowball lies don’t just get us off track, they can convince us that the track we’re on is still the right one. The Bible tells us that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28). However, we should understand that to mean that God works in spite of our mistakes, not that God wants us to make them so he can work through them. In other words, God can be glorified in spite of our sin, but we never glorify him when we sin.

In our lives, we will have many opportunities to make clear choices about right and wrong. However, we will daily have many more choices that seem to be slightly more nuanced because of their circumstances. It’s not just lying, it’s the everyday things that we all struggle with. Paul explains a few of these things to the churches…

For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder. – 2 Corinthians 12:20

Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. – Ephesians 5:4

Let’s not sacrifice our moral integrity on the altar of pragmatism and ‘being real’. Let’s not condition ourselves to be immune to conviction by a pattern of behavior that weakens its effect. Let’s be children of light who walk convinced of a higher calling.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. That’s a bit of a joke we tell whenever someone’s kids do something that reminds us of our parents. Typically this is more along the lines of some idiosyncratic behavior if mentioned out loud, but it is a phrase also used under one’s breath when a particular vice seems to have been passed down from the parents.

However, if we consider the fullness of this horticultural (yes, I just used that word) metaphor, we can find ourselves tremendously challenged by it. Every piece of fruit is an extension of it’s parent. It may blossom into it’s own one day, but all of it’s life-giving genetic code was provided by its parent. This goes beyond genes though, doesn’t it? If we are to draw any human conclusions from this analogy, we need to recognize that the circumstances surrounding the apple’s upbringing greatly affect it as well. What kind of weather was common at the time? Did it get enough water? Did it’s parent struggle through hard times (like drought)? Was it barren for one or more seasons as a result? In the end, was the apple tree able to provide the kind of nourishment that an apple needs to flourish on it’s own?

That rather long-winded introduction was simply to setup the following: Isaac was a product of his father’s upbringing. He apparently learned a lot from dear old dad. He learned how to cultivate the ground. He learned how to dig for water in an otherwise desert land. He learned commerce. He learned how to coexist with others in the same land. He learned how to put down roots and make a place a home. He learned how to love a woman. He learned how to fear God.

Of course, we don’t just pass on good things to our children. One only needs to listen to “Cats in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin to be reminded of the negative impact we can have on our kids when our priorities are in the wrong place. In Abraham’s life, he made a few mistakes of his own and Isaac didn’t exactly learn from them. Rather, he fell into the same kinds of traps.

In today’s modern world, a person who grew up in an abusive home is far more likely to abuse their spouse. Alcoholism is almost assuredly generational, and we tend to go the same churches and vote for the same political parties as our parents did. For guys especially (though much of the same is true for women), we will find that our children will speak to our wives the way that we do. They will speak to their children the way that we speak to them. Our conduct in the home has lasting, generational results.

Isaac found himself in the same land, under the same king, with the same circumstances as his father. As he settled in Gehar where King Abimelech still reigned, he felt he could be in jeopardy because of the beauty of his wife. Never mind that it was God who told him to stay put; Isaac, like so many of us, after hearing from God and following his direction then grabs the reigns at the first sign of trouble. He, like his father before him, had an achilles heel when it came to trusting God with his safety in a foreign land.

“When the men of the place asked him about his wife, he said, ‘She is my sister,’ for he feared to say, ‘My wife,’ thinking, ‘lest the men of the place should kill me because of Rebekah,’ because she was attractive in appearance.” – Genesis 26:7

Where do you think he learned this trick anyway? Of course from his father. What we are not told is whether or not Abraham introduced the concept to him as a viable tactic. Abraham should have learned from his mistake after making it the last time, but in the midst of chaos, we all tend to run back toward what we feel is most comfortable and not what is right.

No, we can’t say what Abraham taught his son about this issue, and certainly Isaac made up his own mind in absence of his father. What we can rejoice in however is that in spite of it all, Isaac’s life was not defined by this incident. This would not be a referendum on Abraham’s parenthood. On the contrary, Isaac shows much integrity after being asked to leave by the king. He digs a well that belonged to his father, but the people say he does not own the rights to it. Wanting to be above reproach, he digs again and gets the same response. He moves on again and this time, there are no objections. He showed incredible patience in waiting on the Lord through this ordeal and as a result, his riches flourished. The king eventually comes to make a pact with Isaac. The same pact he made with his father, Abraham.

Apparently the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, so let’s determine that if this saying is ever used of us, it will be for our children’s victories and not their defeats. Let’s take that as a challenge and not cower away and stop trying just because we’ve made some mistakes. Our kids lives are bigger than a couple of bad decisions. Let’s grow, tall and mighty in spite of our circumstances. Don’t use them as an excuse. Let’s be branches that are attached to the true vine so that we can provide the kind of nourishment that our kids need to develop strong character, moral values and a love for God.

A theme that has been creeping up as we continue through the book of Genesis is that of God’s providence. In today’s doctrinal circles, this can be somewhat of a point of contention. If God is sovereign, then how much free choice can we really have? Wouldn’t any of us having any free will limit the total sovereignty of God on some level? However inconsequential our lives may be, absolute sovereignty means just that: every single thing in total submission. Rather than continue to avoid the issue, we are afforded the opportunity to look at it here in a different light – that of the rights of inheritance.

When one reads the Bible, especially the Old Testament, and sees what we would consider peculiar behavior for a human being, we must understand that the people in the Bible are living at a different time and in a different culture. It can be difficult for us to relate to these people, when reading about how they treat their children and how some are blessed and others seem to be lo0ked over. Are they really playing favorites? Is love for our children not a universal value that spans culture and history? I would say it is and would also say that this is not contradicted in the Bible.

We have to imagine a culture where your inheritance was typically given to the firstborn. When that child was born, they became the target of your influence, education and affection. This was not because you necessarily like them more than your other children, however. This was because as firstborn and heir to your inheritance, you want to make sure that you teach them how to run it wisely.

In a sense, Abraham’s focus on Isaac at the expense of his other children is really in the regions best interest. Do you remember how Abraham treated the people that he worked for earlier? He understood that his wealth was the source from which everyone around him was sustained. He had a responsibility to them as well. Abraham comes off of the pages of Genesis as an incredibly generous benefactor, full of a sense of responsibility that surely came with the wealth that he possessed.

As Abraham grew older and looked around at the people who depended on him. He needed to provide a way for everyone. He did this by choosing to invest in Isaac. He circumcised him to symbolize a covenant between himself and God. He was willing to sacrifice him to show his faithfulness to God in all things. When his mother died, Abraham took great care to choose just the right woman for Isaac so that he would have a life companion, just as his father did. I’m sure he poured into Isaac and reminded him of where they had come from. He would have shared of his successes and his failures. He made Isaac his chosen one, not to play favorites, but for the good of all the people.

What gets lost in the discussion of God’s right to sovereignty is his purpose. It is fact that only God is God. He alone made the universe and everything in it. He gets to make all the rules. He has the God-given right to do so. God can choose to favor one group of people over another. In fact, he does. He sets apart the Jewish nation and displays his mercy toward them and showers his blessing upon them. If you look at the course of human history, the Jewish nation was as sinful as any other nation that existed at any given time. Yet he deliberately chooses to bless them, deliver them from their enemies, increase their territory and refer to them as his chosen people.

At this point, some would ask, “why?” and in response, some reform-doctrine christians might suggest “it doesn’t matter…” or even that it is inappropriate to question God as his purposes are higher than ours. I love my reform friends but it is important to ask why, especially when considering God’s sovereign choice because it is the heart of the Bible.

Much like Abraham chose Isaac for a greater purpose than just playing favorites, God had a special purpose in choosing the nation of Israel. While at first it may seem that he simply favors one nation over the rest of the world, out of this nation he would deliver a Messiah who would come to save the whole world.

A study of God’s sovereign will is important to understanding the lengths to which God will go to redeem the one he loves. It speaks of his foreknowledge, wisdom and compassion in a way that would leave any understanding of them incomplete without it. Today, bask in the glow that God’s plan for your salvation has been an eternity in the making. By choosing Israel, he was choosing you.

I have meditated on the story of Isaac and Rebekah for a while and find myself no closer to picking a theme to write about. I’m simply torn between two ideas. A part of me wants to remain in the themes that I’ve written about elsewhere in this book and the other part is thinking just as a father.

On the one hand, you have here another amazing story of faith in God’s providence and absolute abandon to the idea that he will provide a way. Abraham’s servant heads back to Abraham’s home country to find a wife for his son…but how do you do that? How do you convince a father, let alone a mother to let one of their daughters go with some stranger to be married in a foreign land to someone they don’t know? Of course Abraham’s servant isn’t worried about that. Do you know why? Because those are just details. He has his priorities in order and knows that the most important decision is choosing the right girl.

I can certainly learn something from that as I typically know what the priority is at first, but it is quickly lost as my head starts swimming with questions of “but how is it going to happen?” So I try to make it happen. For example, I could be faced with a call from God to go somewhere and be a missionary. Perhaps God might even appear to me in a burning bush and say “I want you to take my gospel to another country.” However, what happens once the flame goes out and the bush is no longer talking to me while I’m left with my thoughts? What am I thinking? How am I going to live? How are my kids going to get education? How do I keep my family safe? I ask dozens of questions about my future but fail to ask the most important one: where does God want me to go?

If you can relate to that, and want to know how to get out of that kind of habitual response to the call of God, then perhaps I can help by delivering some truth: You will never be able to focus on where God is calling you until you learn to trust Him with the details. We should simply be asking “Where, Lord” and trusting that wherever that is, he will also be and will provide for us. We should head into every directional call from God knowing only that where there seems to be no way, he will make one.

Yes this message of faith is certainly in the text of Genesis 24, but another part of me is just a father of a little girl, and when I think of Rebekah, I can’t help but think of my son and daughter.

I love how Abraham has high standards for his son. So much of our focus tends to be on finding the right kind of man for our daughters, but how often do we speak of finding the right kind of woman for our sons?

As a parent, you want your little girl to grow up like Rebekah. Beautiful, respectful, kind, compassionate and pure. You hope that your parenting will lead her spiritually this way. All along, though, you know that you’re not doing this so that she can thrive on her own later on. Rather, you have this sense that you are preparing her for someone else.

My heart goes out to Rebekah’s father. I imagine the news hit him like a ton of bricks if not that night, then certainly the next morning when Abraham’s servant thinks it’s time to go already. What I must assume is that Rebekah’s father feared the Lord, and out of reverence to him raised Rebekah up for such a time as this, knowing full well he would one day have to let her go for his service.

I pray that God can make me into that kind of father, for my daughter’s sake. I want to be able to say with sincerity that while she is my little girl, my pride, my joy, she is not mine at all. I want to be able to give her to the Lord and because of that I pray that he is already writing another story in a godly young man’s heart so that one day their stories can be combined and they can start a new chapter together.